Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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