Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
