I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Couch. On fire.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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