Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
