Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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