i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
