fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
