I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
