Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
