i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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