yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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