I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
