a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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