I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
