I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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