You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
