My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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