Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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