Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
