i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
