i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
