Where is the hickey?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
