Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
