vagina is talking i cant
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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