I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
