he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
