Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
