You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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