it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
