The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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