p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
