I just made out with a guy for $7.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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