I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
