you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
