I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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