I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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