I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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