For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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