called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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