I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
