Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think a kid would responsible me up
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
