woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
