And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
