I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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