i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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