Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
