I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
