Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
