Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
