soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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