Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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