I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
